Fear Of Intimacy
The struggle for intimacy is one of the biggest problems that any marriage or relationship can have. Intimacy problems have been credited with the failure of more relationships than any other cause. A fear of intimacy can be experienced by one or both partners and involves feelings of loneliness, isolation, and the inability to cope and connect with others. In order to achieve a happy relationship, partners must fight this problem together.
In order to fight this troubling issue successfully, you must first try and understand where they originate. Perhaps past experiences with neglect and abuse play a part. It could be that one partner was raised in a family with little emotional support or love. Mixed with fear of intimacy is also fear of rejection and abandonment. Often, people who have severe intimacy-problems are afraid to become vulnerable to their partners. In cases of abuse, they may feel ashamed to establish a close relationship with another person.
Take some time, even with the help of a counselor, to get to the bottom of where the fear of intimacy comes from so that you and your partner can take steps to fight it together. Once you know where the issues come from, you can learn to become very open with yourself. Before you can be close with a partner, you must be able to understand and know yourself. Learn about your emotional defense mechanisms that you use to heal your pain and fear. If you know what your core issues are and how you deal with them, then you can allow your partner in as well.
Another great way to fight intimacy-issues and resolve any problems between you and your partner is to talk about it openly as often as possible. Remember, you should never assume anything -- how do you know what your partner is actually thinking? It is always a good idea to set some time aside everyday to talk about things you are feeling. If everyday isn't realistic, schedule a weekly discussion. The lines of communication should always stay open.
Mutual respect is a very effective way to fight intimacy problems. Often, the struggle for intimacy is made worse with a lack of respect. There are so many ways to show respect -- big ways and small ways. Always think of each other's needs and try to meet them. If there is no respect, there can be no trust and certainly no love.